I’ve been thinking a lot about fear lately. I see so many business people discuss fears and what holds people back in life. My number one fear had always been not living my life to its greatest potential.
Since becoming a mother this fear has been replaced with those fears that tell us we aren’t doing our best job as a parent. Fear that I’m not giving my child everything that she needs and that she then will not live to her greatest potential. I often wonder if my self-limiting beliefs and my wanting to achieve more than just being her mum is impacting on her in these early years. Does my frustration at her interrupting my creative work time and not giving me time to myself impact on her confidence in me and my love for her.
So much guilt comes with being a parent and I wonder if she takes on that guilt as her own. Does she feel guilty for wanting my undivided attention? Does she feel guilty for asking for me to show my love at the exact time she needs to feel it?
So many questions.
One thing is certain, other than my unwavering love for her, and that is my wish that she too feels unwavering love for herself. It is in that love for herself that she will create a life of her greatest potential.
So many times in your life you would have heard people tell you that in order for someone to truly love you, you must love yourself… but have you really understood the concept of this?
In order for us to truly love another human being without condition we must come from our truth when we are with them. We must be our wholehearted authentic selves.
This is so easy with our children for they come from a place of pure love within us. As we raise them from babies they see us at our worst and our best. We don’t hide our tears, we don’t hide our nakedness and we nurture them with love and no fear of it not being reciprocated. We teach them to love us through nurturing them as they rely completely on us.
Are we teaching them to love themselves through modelling that for them? Are we as parents connecting with our authentic selves and loving that self unconditionally?
What is it that you teach your child through your actions and speech?
Do you teach them that you come last and they and everyone else comes first? Do you teach them that you don’t have enough hours in the day to care for yourself? Do you teach them that stress and being frazzled are normal parts of the day? Do you teach them they must say yes to everything to make others’ lives easier to the detriment of your own? Do you teach them that you don’t get a chance to eat or exercise properly? Do you teach them that’s it’s ok to say you’re too fat, you’re too poor, you’re to tired, you’re too sick?
Do you teach them that not loving yourself properly is ok?
Self-love is our greatest lesson to instil in our children.
When we teach them to be true to themselves, to love and understand that authentic self, they are better able to love others. For they know they are enough.
Loving who they are gives them confidence to speak their truth, courage to discuss their feelings and thoughts, and ability to think creatively knowing that their ideas and expression of self has purpose.
Becoming wholehearted and courageous humans with a healthy love for self gives them the power to give this love freely to others without condition because they will inevitably know that love is the greatest human condition. If all humans had love for their true selves the global consciousness of humanity would be more loving by default.
Do you really want your child to chastise themselves for not achieving every task because they are so busy trying to please others in attempt to find love they don’t have for themselves?
Do you want your child to look in the mirror and loath themselves for being too fat? Or do you want them to love themselves enough to eat food that is nourishing whilst moving their bodies because they deserve good health?
Do you want your child to call themselves stupid because they can’t understand something or do you want them to express themselves through unique creative expression and understand that they have value to contribute?
When we role model to our children to love their authentic selves and be true to that person, we teach them that they are worthy of the same love from others.
Healthy and satiating love.
Rebecca is a highly qualified Clinical Nurse Specialist who has specialised in mental health nursing and forensic psychiatry for the past 20yrs. Rebecca has worked with many mothers during very difficult times in their lives and helped guide them to reconnecting with their inner being after becoming a mum. Becoming a mother as been profoundly life changing for Rebecca and with the birth of her daughter so too was the birth of her company. Rebecca is a Transformational business coach specialising in helping mothers in business be lovingly assertive in life and business. It is Rebecca’s purpose to allow mothers the space to find authentic self-love and inner peace to bring them into their life purpose. The kind of purpose that sees us mothers collaborate together in bringing peace and a better world for our children to thrive in. www.bubbaluvsandme.com.au
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