You can read all the books, listen to all of the podcasts, follow all the social pages. But there are just some things about motherhood that you don’t find out about – until you’re in it.
By Charlotte Cruz
1. Berries, Darling, Berries
Oh, the cost of those tiny, juicy fruits. Ever found yourself splurging on pricey blueberries just to keep your little one happy? Well, I have, and my bank account is still recovering. Mortgage extension, anyone?
2. The Empathy Overflow
Suddenly, every news story about a child in peril has me bawling. It’s like becoming a parent opens up this vast ocean of empathy you never knew you had.
3. Crap conversation
Who knew you could have so many conversations about baby poo? It’s like a daily discussion topic in our household now.
4. Bye-Bye, Shopping Sprees
Remember those days of browsing for chic dresses or fancy homeware? Yeah, me neither. These days, it’s all about filling carts with baby essentials. I’m a mess, but my little ones? Picture-perfect and entertained.
5. Sleep = Luxury
Six uninterrupted hours of sleep? It’s like winning the lottery, and it deserves a celebration.
6. Kids’ Gourmet vs. My Leftovers
My kids dine like kings while I’m scraping their leftovers. It’s a weird new world where I’ll whip up a fancy meal for them but can’t muster the energy to boil an egg for myself.
7. Sleepless Nights Are Normal
Despite what every ‘sleep expert’ says, some kids just don’t sleep through the night for a while, and that’s perfectly okay.
8. The Eternal Dishwasher and Laundry Cycle
They’re never empty. Ever. Just accept it.
9. Nap Time Roulette
Planning anything during nap time is a gamble. Babies have this uncanny ability to sense the worst time to stay awake.
10. Nap Time Productivity
Who knew you could do a day’s worth of tasks in the short window of a baby’s nap?
11. Sleepless Even When They Sleep
Even on the rare nights my baby sleeps through, I’m up, checking on him. It’s a mum thing.
12. Missing Nighttime Cuddles
The paradox of motherhood – feeling sad about missing those midnight cuddles when your baby finally sleeps through.
13. Accidents Happen
Your baby might have a tumble, and it’s okay. We’ve all been there, feeling like the worst parent ever, but these things happen.
14. Breastfeeding Rollercoaster
It’s not always easy or natural. Those first weeks can be a real challenge, but it does get better.
15. The days are long but the years are short
It’s a cliché because it’s true. One day they’re babies, the next they’re… well, not. Time flies in the blink of an eye.
So, to all the new and expecting mummies out there – brace yourselves for an adventure filled with surprises, learning curves, and a love like no other. Welcome to the wild world of parenting.
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