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6 steps to building your happiness and living the life you want

In Body + Soul, Features, Stories by Nicole Fuge

Do you dream of being perfectly in control of your life? Build your happiness and live the life you want with these top tips from life coach Miranda Murray.

By Miranda Murray

Do you dream of being in control of your life (well as close as you can as a mother!)? Are you ready to unlock your potential and align with your purpose? Us too.

Here are 6 simple steps that will help you get there. Happiness, here we come!


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1. Be true to yourself!

I can’t stress this one enough.  Sit down, relax, put down all social media, switch off and allow yourself some space and time to write down your core values in life. Really look inside yourself: question what makes you tick, what brings you joy, what makes you mad, what are your absolute non-negotiables in life – the things that you consider deal-breakers.

Live congruently with your core values and the decisions you make towards creating a life that is full of joy and happiness become easier when those decisions are truly aligned with what you believe in.

2. Own it

Take responsibility for your own actions, behaviours, words, goals etc. Shift the blame game from outside of yourself – sure some things are done to us by others or happen around us, but we have the choice about how we react to those things.

We can’t change or control how other people may act or behave, but we do have full control of our own behaviours. Observe your reactions to certain circumstances and choose a way forward that is aligned with who you want to be.

3. Don’t hold onto negative feelings

Life will not always go to plan. Sometimes, less than favourable things happen in life. It’s a fact. Bearing grudges, becoming bitter and holding tight to negative energy is not good for anyone. It affects how you feel and the relationships you engage in around you. Find some way to process any issues that are weighing you down and occupying your mind.

Talk to a friend, engage a coach, counsellor or psychologist to talk things over with. Try a mindfulness practice such as meditation, yoga or tai chi to find more peace in your days and don’t stay stuck in the past – the future holds endless possibilities if you are open to them.

4. Move Your body everyday

It’s no secret that physically getting out and being active is good for us. Exercise releases endorphins to make us feel happier and help us sleep better at night. It allows us more flexibility to move with ease and carry our bodies better. In turn, exercise makes us feel better about how we look. Fresh air in our lungs is not only good for boosting immunity but also combats stress.

Vitamin D is good for our minds and therapeutic for our mood, so consider taking your exercise outside when the sun is out. A change of scenery, whether you choose indoors or out, can be good for the soul and we don’t all have to be elite athletes for movement to have any benefits. Choose what’s right for you – it could be yoga, pilates, swimming, aqua-aerobics… whatever takes your fancy.

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5. Do more things that make your heart sing

We all know what it feels like to look forward to something. If you’re feeling a bit flat and don’t know why, consider how much time you are spending on certain activities and the things you don’t have time for that used to bring you joy.

Make an effort to bring some of those things back into your weeks ahead and notice the changes you feel. It could be a coffee date with a friend, a manicure or a long drive to the beach and back. Whatever it is that makes your heart sing, do more of it.

6. Take action

Goals without action plans simply remain dreams and fantasies. It’s important to work on a plan to get you to where you want to be. If you need some help with this, it is a great stage to engage a life coach who can help you put some strategies in place to map out some step by step ways to achieve everything your heart desires.

By establishing what your goals are, checking in with where you are currently at in your world, identifying the obstacles that may present themselves, and brainstorming some real achievable actions that can get you to where you want to be, you can build your own happiness plan and bring it to fruition. Having someone to keep you accountable on that journey is one of the keys to success.

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