It can be tricky to feel the mojo you felt pre-kids. But it is possible to better connect with your partner while parenting.
By Kristina Ioannou
Let’s be honest. There’s nothing sexy about a top riddled with baby vomit or the sound of shrieking kids every hour, on the hour.
Indeed, it can be tricky for parents to feel the mojo they felt pre-child days. Especially with over-scheduled lives and general household chaos.
But just because we’re so accustomed to making children the centre of our world, doesn’t mean we can’t nurture the love with our significant other. It is possible to bounce back from a faltering relationship after having children.
“The differences between smooth-sailing parents and those that are on rocky waters is their ability to express the three A’s—affection, appreciation, and admiration.”
Here’s how to connect with your partner and spice things up again.
Side note: We know some of this stuff sounds like a no-brainer and super simple. But honestly, mama, it’s the little things that can make the world of difference when it comes to relationships and parenting.
Above all, just have fun!
1. Commit to date night
Remember, you need to make time for romance or your schedules will take over without you noticing.
Set aside one evening a week or each fortnight to go out and have some fun. Dinner, wine, a movie, a cheeky gig, or whatever floats your boat.
If you can’t go out, do it at home when the kids go to bed with some lit candles and a relaxing bath.
Ditch the guilt, commit to it and ensure you focus on deepening into quality time and playfulness with one another.
2. Do chores together
It doesn’t sound very sexy, but this activity can be surprisingly bonding.
Doing housework together can make the chores go quicker, enhance communication with your partner and offer a sense of joint support.
And who knows, it might even make the dish-washing steamy *wink wink*.
3. Make bedtime intimate
Where ever possible, use night-time as a way to connect with your partner.
Shut down computers and phones half an hour before it’s time to snooze, using this as adult-only time.
Light some candles, lower the lights, talk, cuddle, give each other a backrub. Or – to put it bluntly – decompress and get your freak on.
4. Be nice to each other
According to researcher and author John Gottman, PhD, the differences between smooth-sailing parents and those that are on rocky waters is their ability to express the three A’s—affection, appreciation, and admiration.
Offering kind, feel-good behaviour, gestures and words of affirmation to your partner, will encourage them to do the same in return and can prompt gratifying payback.
Make time every day to express gratitude. And do little favours for each other that are intentional and infused with love and kindness and watch what happens next!