R U OK? Mama Disrupt

R U OK? How to deal when you’re not OK

In Features, Mind Health, Motherhood, Stories by Gemma Dawkins

R U OK? Let’s be honest – as mothers, we’re probably not asked that question enough.

By Mama Disrupt®

Between the mental load of trying to schedule swimming lessons, book the car service, and have your groceries delivered in the 6 minute window that you’ll actually be home…yeah. There’s a lot going on.

And that’s before you factor in complications like PND, the unsolved crime that is your sleep disappearing, and your hands being so full you literally cannot hold another thing, let alone some freaking space for yourself.

But it’s so important to have those difficult convos, here’s how to deal when you’re actually not ok.


R U OK? overwhelm, nanit, mama disrupt

1. Admit it

We’ve all done it. You get asked how you are, and respond with a breezy ‘good thanks!’

It just seems easier than admitting that you might be struggling. But are you ok? The thing is, a problem shared is a problem halved. Sometimes just talking about it can feel like a weight’s been lifted off your shoulders. If you have a supportive partner, trusted GF’s or maybe your own mama to lean on, give yourself permission to be honest about how you really are.

And if you don’t, or you need to call in some professionals? Help is out there. Try contacting PANDA or Lifeline for always-available help. Or book an appointment with your GP to chat about a referral to a psychologist. It’s so, so worth it.

How to deal when you're not ok

2. Put yourself first

Yep, seems impossible when you’re literally in charge of keeping little people alive! But if you don’t prioritise your own needs, things can go downhill. Fast. Make sure you’re nourishing yourself – mind, body and soul – before you try to be the best you for everyone else. It’s a win-win for everyone.

R U OK? Mama Disrupt

3. Reassess

If you’ve followed steps 1 and 2 and you still can’t catch a freaking break – guess what, baby? Things need to change around here. If you can’t take a second to yourself [and no, doing the supermarket shop alone isn’t a ‘break’], then it’s time to reprioritise. Maybe it’s a matter of speaking to your partner about the way you divide up the domestic duties. Maybe it’s a matter of chatting to your boss about flexible work options. Or maybe you could factor in a cleaner once a fortnight, or organise a meal train with your besties. Whatever’s piling up, get practical, and see what a difference it makes.

Most importantly, cut yourself some slack. If you’re putting too much pressure on yourself you will eventually wind up run-down. So we’re all for shortcuts – whether it’s toast for dinner or letting that screen-time slide if it means you get to sit down and regroup.

So, let’s try that again. R U OK, mama?

Sign up to our newsletter for weekly mama goodness delivered straight to your inbox, like the VIP that you are.