anxiety, Make Yourself A Priority, mama disrupt

Are you looking after you? How to make yourself a priority

In Body + Soul, Features, Motherhood, Stories by Nicole Fuge

Have you forgotten how to make yourself a priority? That often happens in motherhood. But Simone Milasas explains you can turn things around.

By Simone Milasas

Are you living the life you desire? Or somewhere along the way did you forget to make yourself a priority – your life becoming about everyone else?

Perhaps you have created your life based on what others around you are choosing, thinking you had to be just like them.

Or maybe you have worked hard at creating the image that you have decided you must have so that others will like you.

Or, maybe you’re so aware of what everyone around you desires and requires that you have put most of your time and energy into taking care of them.

The problem with the above scenarios is that you and your wellbeing are not included in the mix.

Make Yourself A Priority, Simone milasas, mama disrupt
Putting yourself first is not selfish

Who do you think about when you make a choice about something? Do you ask, “What would I like to choose? What is going to work for me?”

Or do you think about your kids, your lover, your neighbours, your family, your co-workers and consider what is best for them?

Most people give themselves up in relationships of any kind.

In fact, to make yourself a priority and choose for yourself when you have kids or are married is often considered selfish.

What if everything you have been told about what you can and cannot choose based on the relationships in your life was a lie and what if you never gave up yourself for anyone ever again?

The reality is, when you choose for yourself, you are a greater gift to yourself, to the world, to your lovers, your kids, and so forth, and you give them permission to choose for themselves too.

Putting you back in the equation of your life is the only way your life is going to work.

Make Yourself A Priority, Simone milasas, mama disrupt

Top 3 tips for putting you back in the equation of your life

1. Explore What is True for You

From the time we are small children, society, culture, religion, education, and our families tell us what we are supposed to value, what choices are acceptable and which ones are not, how we are supposed to live.

What if you let all that go and had a look at what is true for you?

From a place of curiosity and wonder, start asking questions such as, “If I were including me in the equation of my life, what would I choose?” And “If everything I have been told about relationships, about business, about life was a lie, what would I know?”

Asking questions such as these will open the doors to possibilities you may have never considered.

Make Yourself A Priority, Simone milasas, mama disrupt
2. Thank You for You

When Snoop Dogg received his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, he did not deliver the usual speech. His words began with, “I want to thank me for believing in me.” He went on to deliver many words of gratitude to and for himself.

When was the last time you said thank you to you? Or do you look to others with the expectation that they should be grateful for you?

What if you stopped expecting gratitude from others and chose to have gratitude for yourself?

One way to cultivate this is to start a gratitude journal. Every day write down 1-3 things that you would like to thank you for.

When you are brushing your teeth in the morning and before you go to bed at night, reflect on your list. Every time you start to judge yourself, take out your list and read it.

When you make gratitude your focus, judgement goes away.

Make Yourself A Priority, Simone milasas, mama disrupt
3. Do More of What You Love

What do you love doing? What lights you up? Makes you come alive.

Get a notepad and start writing these things down. Don’t stop until you have at least 20. As you look at your list, ask, “Am I doing enough of what I love?” If the answer is no, choose one thing and start.

You don’t have to take on the whole list. This is not about destroying the life you currently have. Rather, take a baby step by starting.

If you wonder how you are going to find time to add something to your life, you won’t. Doing more of what you love requires a commitment to you. You must choose it. You could start with 20 minutes a day – another baby step to get you going – and increase the time until you take one hour every day just for you.

Fulfillment in life requires that you be in the equation.

Give yourself permission to explore what is true for you. Look for and focus on the things about you that you are grateful for. Rediscover what you love to do and actively choose to do more of that each day.

Commit to yourself to take baby steps and keep going no matter what and let the joy and adventure of life and living begin!