Let’s take a moment to talk about something that many of us experience but seldom discuss – the changing dynamic of friendships in motherhood.
By Mama Disrupt®
A significant life change – such as motherhood – can sometimes cause a seismic shift in our friendships. And it’s a unique kind of heartache when the friendships we’ve nurtured over the years suddenly feel distant or strained.
But remember, growth often involves shedding. It’s painful, but it’s part of the beautiful, transformative journey to becoming the mother you are destined to be.
“MOTHERHOOD ISN’T A JOURNEY YOU HAVE TO TRAVEL ALONE … ALLOW YOURSELF TO LEAN INTO THIS NETWORK, FIND YOUR STRENGTH, AND CONTINUE TO BLOOM BEAUTIFULLY INTO THE MAMA YOU’RE MEANT TO BE.”
1. Acceptance is the first step
Firstly, understand that it’s completely okay and natural for relationships to evolve. Change doesn’t necessarily mean the end of a friendship – it just means the start of a different kind of relationship.
There’s a saying, “people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”. Not all friendships are meant to last forever … and that’s okay.
2. Communicate your feelings
Just as you’ve changed, your friends might also be navigating their own journeys.
Instead of making assumptions, initiate a conversation. Express your feelings openly, calmly, and lovingly. Be honest about how you’ve been feeling and offer them the same space to share their feelings too.
3. Find your tribe
While some friendships might shift, new ones can also blossom.
You’ll meet other mothers who are going through similar experiences, and these relationships can be incredibly enriching. They may be the lifeline you didn’t know you needed.
Support groups, both online and offline, are great places to connect with fellow mums.
4. Maintain your individuality
Remember, you’re not just a mum, you’re YOU. Hold onto the individuality that makes you unique.
Continue to nourish your interests and hobbies outside of motherhood. This will not only help you stay connected with your non-parent friends but also make you a more content and fulfilled mama.
5. Make time for friendships
It can be tough to carve out time for friendships amidst the whirlwind of motherhood. But it’s crucial to remember that investing in friendships is also investing in yourself. P
lan a coffee date, schedule a video call, or even a quick text can mean the world. You might be surprised at how much these small efforts can nurture your friendships.
6. Seek professional help
If the strain on your friendships is causing you significant distress, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Counsellors or therapists can provide valuable insight and strategies to help you navigate this transition.
Remember, motherhood isn’t a journey you have to travel alone. You have a village – your partner, family, new mum friends, and yes, even those old friendships that might be in flux. Allow yourself to lean into this network, find your strength, and continue to bloom beautifully into the mama you’re meant to be.
In motherhood and in friendship, there’s room for all of it – the joy, the pain, the beginnings, the endings, the transformations. As we navigate these changes, let’s do it with grace, compassion, and a fierce belief in ourselves.
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