One of the hardest things about motherhood is that we can’t fully share the process with our support person. You know, things like the physical burdens of pregnancy and childbirth. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be there for her in other ways.
By Mia Johnson
Having a baby is a big change for the both of you so it’s important to go through it together.
What’s more, being an actively present partner will also help you bond with your baby. They might not be able to show it, but they love all the attention and love they get from both parents.
Here’s how partner can help you feel loved and cared for.
WHEN YOU’RE NOT SURE WHAT TO DO AND WHAT YOUR NEXT STEP SHOULD BE, IT’S BEST TO LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR PARTNER HAS TO SAY. SHE’LL HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA OF WHAT SHE NEEDS AT A GIVEN MOMENT.
1. Show appreciation
Words have the power to lift our spirits and make us more confident and self-assured. In this sensitive period, we are often more self-critical and doubtful of what we’re doing.
No matter how ready we think we are for a baby, real life tends to prove us wrong. Plus, she might worry about not looking her best as she used to and not being able to keep up with her routines as she did before.
Your job as a support person is to literally support her [and yes, this extends to outside of the delivery room].
Keep telling her how beautiful and amazing she is. Tell her what a good job she’s doing and what a caring mother she is. It’s bound to mean a lot on day to day basis. Of course, you shouldn’t forget to tell her you love her.
2. Be involved with breastfeeding
If your partner is breastfeeding, it’s best to be involved but not too involved. This is an intimate moment for mum and baby, and you shouldn’t intrude much. Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t help.
Make sure she is comfortable and ask her if she needs anything when she sits down. You can also help wash all of the equipment she might need, like the breast pump for example.
Once the baby has been fed, offer to take it off of her hands so she can rest a little. Carrying the baby all the time can be extremely tiring, and she might want a few minutes of alone time after she’s done feeding the baby.
3. Help at home [without being asked]
Making sure she eats is essential when you’ve got a newborn. Her body just went through something grave, so to aid the recovering process, you have to make sure she eats.
What’s more, if she’s breastfeeding, she’ll need all the strength she can get. Help out and cook healthy meals, full of vitamins and protein. Maybe even get up before her and make her breakfast, and take it upon yourself to make sure dinner is on the table each night.
Want major brownie points? Fill the house with nourishing snacks, so they’re always available when she needs them. It’s what her body needs.
4. Boost confidence
It’s fairly common for a new mother to put herself down. Her body just went through a big change, and it’s normal to feel unaccustomed to those changes. This just creates more stress and lets her become frustrated, tired, and sad. In turn, she can end up losing all of her confidence.
Self-care is super important, but for a new mum, it can feel impossible. So book her in for a spa treatment or a manicure. A shopping spree could do some good too.
When you’re not sure what to do and what your next step should be, it’s best to listen to what your partner has to say. She’ll have a pretty good idea of what she needs at a given moment. Whether it’s for you to give her some time to herself, or to run some errands, or to be more physical attentive – she’ll tell you.
Most importantly, make sure she’s okay. Sometimes she’ll just need to vent. Don’t try to fix her or her problems, but listen, be there for her, and don’t dismiss her moods. Comfort is the best thing you can offer to your significant other right now and be the best support person you can be.