perfectionism, mama disrupt

How to know if you’re stuck in a cycle of perfectionism

In Features, Mind Health, Stories by Nicole Fuge

In our quest for a flawless life, we often lose joy. Let’s dive deep into perfectionism and embrace our authentic, imperfect selves.

By Ava Wilde

Ever felt like you’re stuck in this endless loop, trying to be, well, perfect? Yeah, blame those societal norms and family traditions that have silently nudged us into setting sky-high expectations for ourselves.

Let me tell ya, most of these benchmarks we’ve set? They’re pretty much like aiming for the moon with a toy rocket. This whole cycle has us delaying things (hello, procrastination!), working our socks off, and conveniently dodging those much-needed self-care sessions. And where does all that lead? Often to a cocktail of guilt, stress, and a sprinkle of anxiety. Fun, right?

But here’s the thing: while chasing perfection might make you feel like you’ve got the reins of your wild, unpredictable life, it’s just a mirage. Now, I’m all for having dreams and pushing boundaries, but when our every move is driven by the fear of a little side-eye or a frown from someone else? Honey, it’s time for a reality check.


mum burnout, upward spiral, mama disrupt
Are You a Closet Perfectionist? Here are Five Signs
  1. Reality check: Being a perfectionist isn’t about nailing everything. It’s more like setting Mount Everest-esque goals for every molehill task.
  2. The measuring tape: How high do you rank your worth? If it’s mostly about how you meet these over-the-top standards, you might be in the perfectionist club.
  3. The never-ending chase: Keeping at these wild standards, even when it’s messing with your peace? Red flag!
  4. The downside: Guess what? Wanting to be the best at everything might just be tripping you up. It’s like wanting to fly, but tying a brick to your foot. Perfectionists are often on edge, and those unmet, unattainable standards? They lead straight to Feelings-ville with stops at Frustration Station and sometimes, Depresso Espresso Café.
  5. The split personality: You might be the Sheldon Cooper at work but the opposite at home. Perfectionism can be picky like that.
Why Self-worth and Perfectionism are Basically in a Toxic Relationship

For the perfectionist squad, every little accomplishment is a self-worth boost. Like, if they think “no mistakes allowed,” they’ll be the eagle-eyed hawk spotting the tiniest of errors. And they’ve got this binary view of success and failure, no in-betweens!

parenting after separation, PND, mama disrupt

The Endless Self-Roast Session

Ever noticed how perfectionists are their own worst critics? Their super-tuned radar zeroes in on anything less than 100%. This whole self-flagellation fest only amplifies their drive to chase rainbows. They see the world through this black-or-white filter, piling pressure like it’s going out of style.

Behaving the Perfectionist Way

Got that friend who checks their work like a million times or organises their sock drawer by colour, material, and mood? Or that pal who avoids tasks just because they’re scared they won’t nail it? These are classic moves in the perfectionist playbook.

The Real Deal on Perfectionism
  1. Guess what? You’re not perfect. And that’s totally cool.
  2. The “perfect human”? Myth. Just like unicorns and calorie-free ice cream.
  3. Oops moments? We all have them. Often with witnesses.
  4. Stop running the never-ending race to please everyone. It’s exhausting.
  5. Remember, every quirky, oopsie, and “I-can’t-believe-I-did-that” moment makes you incredibly lovable.

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