For Jessica Hill, founder of The Parent Collective, friendships in new motherhood were her lifeline – through the 3am feeds, the postpartum blues, and the chaos of new parenthood.
By Jessica Hill
Becoming a mum is like jumping into the deep end of a pool you’ve never swum in before, except the water’s filled with baby spit-up and you’re dog-paddling with one arm while the other holds a newborn.
It’s exhilarating, exhausting, and, let’s be real, incredibly lonely at times.
I was floored by how much my identity shifted overnight.
Suddenly, my world was a blur of diapers, sleepless nights, and “what the hell is that rash?” Google searches. Thank goodness for my mum friends—a group of women who were just as unmoored and bewildered as I was. And let me tell you, these friendships? Absolute. Lifesavers.
“AS MUCH AS THOSE EARLY DAYS ARE A BLUR, I KNOW I WOULDN’T HAVE MADE IT THROUGH WITHOUT MY MUMS BY MY SIDE.”
The Surprise of New Mum Isolation
Who knew that bringing a tiny human into the world could feel so, well, lonely? Your identity does a 180, and while your pre-baby friends might be super excited for you, they’re not exactly in the trenches with you. That’s why finding other mums who are just as bleary-eyed as you is key.
They get it. They’ve been there (probably as recently as this morning), and they’ll reassure you that, yes, it’s totally normal to cry because you dropped a pacifier in the grocery store.
Getting Out of the House: A Necessary Evil
Leaving the house with a newborn is like preparing for battle. You pack the diaper bag as if you’re going on a three-week expedition, only to realise you forgot the one thing you actually needed—wipes. But when you know you’re meeting up with other mums who are in the same boat, it suddenly feels a lot less terrifying. Together, you can laugh (or cry) about the fact that none of you have showered in days, and suddenly the world doesn’t feel quite as
overwhelming.
Why You Need That Mum Network ASAP
Maternity leave is short—like, blink and you’ll miss it—and before you know it, you’re back at work trying to remember what you used to do there. Having a network of other mums you can lean on from day one is crucial. These women become your sounding board, your cheerleaders, and sometimes your emergency babysitters. They’ll share their battle-tested tips for surviving the transition back to work, and they’ll be there with a glass of wine when you need to vent about it all.
Postpartum WTF Moments
Look, 1 in 5 women struggle with postpartum anxiety or depression. Finding other mums who are willing to talk about it, whether venting about the panic attacks or laughing about the wide range of worries, having someone to share with is a game changer. You get through it together.
The No Judgement Zone
As a new mum, it sometimes feels like everyone has an opinion about everything—breastfeeding, sleep training, you name it. And social media highlights this even more. What mums really need is a place where they can ask the dumb questions and not feel like they will be judged. Being able to be real about fears and frustrations makes all the difference. It is in those spaces that you will find your people—women who are as clueless as you are but who were willing to figure it out together.
So yeah, those friendships I made during pregnancy and early motherhood? They saved my sanity. These women were my lifeline—through the 3 am feeds, the postpartum blues, and the total chaos that is new parenthood. We laughed, we cried, and we survived. And as much as those early days are a blur, I know I wouldn’t have made it through without my mums by my side.
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