By Cassie Mendoza-Jones, excerpt from Aligned & Unstoppable
Are you ready to own what you do? Are you ready to acknowledge how far you’ve come (even if you think you still have places to go), and own where you are, today? Are you ready to claim all the experience you’ve already lived, all the opportunities you’ve already created, all the flow and momentum you’ve already received … and use all of this to propel you forwards? Or do you think you still need to do more? Study more? Experience more? Read more? Learn more? Be more of something you feel you’re not?
It’s important, necessary and enjoyable to continue to learn and grow; but that comes at a cost, if we think we’re never ‘there yet’. We can do both simultaneously: continually learn and grow, as well as acknowledge where we are and how far we’ve come. If you’re never able to acknowledge how far you’ve come, you might find you never think you’ve learnt enough. You might find you never get to where you want to be. You might find you move the goalposts so much that after a while, there are no more goalposts—just an empty field that stretches further than your eye can see.
While waiting for someone else to give us the go ahead, while thinking we need to ask someone else for permission to go create—and then live—what we dream of for ourselves, we are halting the flow that we so crave and desire. This is the flow that allows us to draw what we desire closer towards us, without the hustle, the burnout, the fear that things—that we—need to be different in order to receive.
If you want to become aligned and unstoppable in your own life, you need to trust that you’ve made it this far, and that where you are today will take you to where you need to be next. You need to acknowledge your growth and progress (even if the progression feels like a regression at times), and you need to know that you’re actually the one and only person who can truly qualify yourself.
I’ve just had a coaching call with Charlotte, a wonderful client of mine. She’d been questioning her qualifications, wondering if she knew enough, and feeling unsure that her work was enough. Charlotte was doubting her ability to move forwards, because she was only looking at one thing: how many certificates she held in her field. Through a kinesiology balance, we started to shift her energy, mindset and perspective. This helped her see that the papers she held in hand mattered much less than the wisdom, confidence and power she held in her mind, heart and soul.
I know plenty of ‘experienced’ people who have great qualifications. Does this automatically mean they’re empathetic, insightful, creative, driven, grounded and full of generosity of spirit? Ah, no. Does the piece of paper framed in their office or home study generate energy, momentum, opportunities and income? Does it always make them feel energised, aligned and unstoppable? I’d say not.
What does all of that, and more? You do. It’s how you feel about yourself; it’s your mindset, perspective and self-talk; it’s the way you claim where you are and what you do. Ultimately, it’s the decision you make to validate yourself, knowing that while there’s always more to learn, uncover and discover, you can be satisfied that you know enough for today, while you move forward in your own time.
Here are the goals we energetically aligned Charlotte to:
– I am clear, concise and calm.
– I have clarity about my work.
– I have a clear direction for my next steps.
– I give myself time and space to integrate my ideas, in order to make the best decisions for me.
– I trust the decisions I make.
– I clear my own way.
– I have the confidence to speak up.
– I easily take action on my ideas.
– I allow my Higher Self to lead the way, and I trust that what’s going on is divinely guided.
– I trust my Higher Self.
– It’s safe for me to step outside my comfort zone.
– I have confidence in what I’m doing.
– I’m confident in myself and in what I’m creating.
– I validate myself.
– I focus my thoughts, to make conscious use of all the wonderful gifts I’ve received.
From this list of goals, the one that jumps out for me is: I focus my thoughts, to make conscious use of all the wonderful gifts I’ve received.
This is one of the underlying themes of this book. When we focus our thoughts, our energy, our intentions and our actions, then set our sights on honing our voice and using our gifts, we light up ourselves, those we love, and the world. The stepping stone to doing so is to qualify yourself, validate your own voice, and lean into your uplevelling. Some ways you can qualify—and validate –yourself coming up next.
Invest your energy in the doing, not the deciding
I’ve seen it all too often: a client finishes one course/certification/degree, only to feel they have to enrol in another, straightaway. Or they start working on a project but spend months in the planning stage, never really taking action to move the dial forwards.
Deciding, planning, thinking you need to do more before you let yourself get started—all this can lead you in circles, feeling as if you’re chasing your tail. Sometimes you just have to dive right in. Stop thinking you need to do more; just do what you are waiting to give yourself permission to do.
Decision fatigue is real; so is running around in circles, running yourself into the ground to try to prove your worth, when really, you’re already enough. You’ll clear overwhelm when you take action. You’ll build your confidence when you move forwards. It’s the direct and beautiful opposite of waiting for someone else to pick you, or to validate you.
Clear your own way
We can become so stuck in our own heads when we hold ourselves back, waiting to be validated or chosen by someone else. It’s perfectionism, resistance and low self-worth, all tied up in a very expensive bow. It’s expensive because of what it’s costing you: the chance to really step up into what’s next for you.
So clear your own way by taking action. You’re ready to step outside the doorway of this tiny little room you’ve created for yourself. By being brave enough to say, ‘I’m ready, today’ you stop boxing yourself in and wondering ‘What if?’ or saying ‘One day…’. Instead, you open your eyes and see that ‘one day’ is right now. One day is today.
Lean into your own power
We all have people we look up to in our own line of work. Not surprisingly, if you keep showing up, doing the work you love, pushing your own boundaries and expanding into your greater vision, there’ll be a time when people start to look up to you, too. For this to be true, there must come a time when you claim your inner power back, as well as the ability to lead yourself. In doing so, you become your own leader. Just like becoming your own CEO, this will deepen your self-belief and trust in your ability to create what you want in life and work.
When you qualify and validate yourself, you lean into your power, you radiate what you’re calling in, and you let yourself rise to (your own version of) the top.
Use all your experience
You create every day. It’s not just ‘work’ you create—it’s your entire life. Becoming aligned and unstoppable in what you create encompasses all the things you invest your time and energy into. So look at the bigger picture; stop compartmentalising everything you’ve created, and all you’ve achieved. Can the lived experience of writing and directing plays at university help you write and create a workshop today? Can the lived experience of supporting countless friends through heartbreak lift your confidence, as you go through practical clinic hours for your counselling course? Can helping in your child’s school canteen give you the self-belief that you are ready to start that passion project catering company?
If you let yourself open your heart and mind and look around, I’ll bet you’ll find countless ways your life has led you to exactly where you need to be today.
Trust it’s already within you
While you can always learn more, you can also trust that what you need today is already completely within you, and that what you need tomorrow can be called upon when the time is right. Am I saying you can start calling yourself a doctor with no medical experience? Of course not. I’m merely suggesting you look at all you’ve already created and achieved in your life, and use all those gifts, skills and experience to allow yourself to start now, to start today—exactly where you are, and with what you already have.
If you knew and trusted that you didn’t need to do more (or be more, or have more), what would you give yourself permission to do right now?
Cassie Mendoza-Jones is a kinesiologist, business alignment coach, naturopath and speaker. She works with women, entrepreneurs, healers, coaches and creatives who want to become more powerfully aligned to their bigger vision, clear away perfectionism, procrastination and overwhelm, and create a beautiful and aligned business and life.
Excerpt from Aligned and Unstoppable, RRP $19.99, Hay House Australia